Posted by: squashards | March 27, 2010

The end is nigh!!!

Fellow NSL members,

It is with great sorrow that I have to admit defeat. The NSL has become stagnant in that it is more than 6 weeks since the last challenge match.

I am proposing one of the following two options:

  • a line is drawn under the NSL’s existence and a winding up order is sought. I, for one, will be seeking reimbursement of ladder funds from Davy ‘the weatherman’ Verner – however I hold little hope of ever seeing these monies again – I have a suspicion that they have been spent on Davy’s new 52″ HD TV, or
  • we flip the ladder on its head, putting Stevie at the bottom of the ladder. This will cause him to challenge his way back up the ladder.

I feel that the ladder either needs to be disbanded or re-engineered and modernised.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Even if the ladder ceases operations I would still be keen to continue friendly Fridays whenever possible!!

You should also be aware that Kiltonga are having a summer squash league to which I have signed up (along with Stevie and Pete). However tennis and golf may be more appealing on nice summer evenings!!

Kind regards,

The low country boy

PS For me the NSL has served its purpose, and it now means I have the names and numbers of 9 other people when I fancy a match.

Posted by: squashards | March 9, 2010

War of the Words

I have to say that it has been good to hear from Clarkie, I think it took him 4 weeks to get the password right so he could leave a post.  Clarkus on the court the pink socks you wear do suit you, as you play like a girl when you play me.  In fact any of my 3 sisters could take morepoints off me, than you.

‘the gooseneck’

ps Im sure barry mitchell will respond to this clarkie rant in due course.

Posted by: squashards | March 9, 2010

Stevies sisters socks


I have some interesting tactics to report on, Barry Mitchell has started to catch the ball during highly competitive games to stop play! Also please all show concern for Barry as he has had a sore foot for the last couple of weeks and until his prescription for tighten up pills comes he is going to need our support.

As this post was solely for the purpose of slagging i have to add one last comment – ” where did i get my pink socks from stevie?”

Posted by: squashards | February 21, 2010

NSL Update

Chaps the current ladder standings for week beginning 22/2/2010

1. S Verner

2. J hope

3. P. Clarke

4. B. Mitchell

5. A. Corkill

6. J. Currie

7. M. McFeeters

8. J. Neilly

9. R. Hand

10. J. Boyd

Posted by: squashards | February 15, 2010

NSL update

Chaps the current ladder standings for week beginning 15/2/2010

1. S Verner

2. J hope

3. P. Clarke

4. B. Mitchell

5. A. Corkill

6. J. Currie

7. M. McFeeters

8. J. Neilly

9. R. Hand

10. J. Boyd

Posted by: squashards | February 11, 2010

Roll Up Roll Up Friendly Friday is back!!!!!!!!

Friday night sees Ulster squashes most flamboyant and entertaining night on the squashing calender.  With a good turn out expected and no more than 3 courts booked, friday should be eventful and sweaty.  One challenge match to note of, as our long travelled journey man Barry ‘the all black’ Mitchell takes on Andy ‘the spare rib Corkill’, Mitchell will be looking to climb back into the top half of the ladder with a win here.  Preparations took an unexpected hit mid week, when Mitchell lost in a friendly 4-3 at the hands of the Clarkester. Mitchell says “there is nothing to worry about.”

Pulses will not only be racing on court tomorrow night but also off court, as the Clarkester has set pulses racing with the young female clerical contingent at the Kiltonga Christian Centre.  Our trusted friend there Ms Pam ‘the tie snathcer’ Ferguson, commented by saying “hes too young for me, but some of the girls think he’s gorgeous” (ps lads i think we should get a lock for the changing room.!) As the ladies pulses will be racing, there tender hearts will also be breaking, as I can happily announce that the Clarkester has recently got engaged to Miss Nicola Doherty.  From everyone at the NSL we wish Peter and Nikki our deepest congratulations and may God truly Bless them!  Nikki will surely make a honest man out of Clarkie.

To get JC out of his early retirement home (or the Longfellow) in East Belfast and to join us one of these practice nights.  Jacki Fullarton will be in attendance from 5.45pm -6.00pm, doing a book sigining for his latest published travel book ‘Jackies Jaunts’  In a nutshell the book is an opportuninty for jackie to flirt with 70+ year old ladies around the streets of Venice.  JC be there!!!!!!! We need YOU!!!!!!

Its also good to welcome back our effervescent hero from the Prodestant end of Lurgan Mr Richard Hand,  reports suggest that Richard ‘the brush’ Hand has been chomping at the bit to play some serious squash and start to move up the ladder.  Its reported that Mark ‘the sleep talker’Mcfeeters has refused to play Mr Hand on a number of occassions.  A full investigation by the NSL board is to proceed on this matter immediately.  With outcome pending.

ps Richard with regards to the petrol money expenses sheet, unfortunately the NSL’s Treasuer Mr David Verner can not allow for this within the budget demands.  Best they can offer is 2p per mile, my advice is go for the next best option and get a good meal at your daughters, may i recommend the lasagne, quite magnificent and this will make the journey back to Mid Ulster all the better.

Thats it for now, I’m away to make a cup of coffee.

See you all Friday night



Posted by: squashards | February 1, 2010

NSL ladder update

Chaps the current ladder standings for week beginning 1/2/2010

1. S Verner

2. J hope

3. P. Clarke

4. A Corkill

5. J Currie

6. M. Mcfeeters

7. J.Neilly

8. R. Hand

9. J.Boyd

10. B Mitchell

Dont let the ladder die, please dont be shy and create tasty challenges.  Just to re cap if you are challenged you must reach a date and time that suits with your opponent.  Failing to do so will result in an automatic walkover and you will drop one place.  We dont want opponets causing obstructions on the ladder, cheers lads i know you wont let me down. I really dont want to sound too serious, its all just in the name of SQUASH!!!!!

Posted by: squashards | January 30, 2010

Verner retains top spot

S.Verner was determined to keep his place at the top and even booked a day off work to allow full match preperation.  An early 5pm game started earnestly and memory would recall the game being closer than the result suggests.  Stevie used his 6ft5 frame to the full, stretching for shots which would have been too far for the mere mortal.  Long games were enjoyed by the spectators as serve changed back and forth and long rallies fought, never has the NSL seen a game with as many lets called as each component bustled and harrassed for court posistion.  In truth John struggled with Stevie’s ‘limp wrist’ syndrome as he played delicate drop shots he had mastered during regular practise games against the Clarkster.  Off the record Steve has been heard  “……what can I say, its a curse and a skill….”

The standard of play in the NSL games is increasing on a weekly bases and I would encourage everybody to get challenging as  we are a third of the way through our season.  The week finished with Steve ‘Soft wrists’ Verner holding onto top spot.  All that leaves me to say then is……

“Next time Gadget… time!  Mmmmmooooaarh!

Posted by: squashards | January 29, 2010

Friday night result

S Verner beat J Hope  3 – 0   (9-6, 9-5, 9-2)

Match report to follow………

Posted by: squashards | January 28, 2010

J Hope v S Verner Pre Match build up

With both competitors reporting a clean bill of health, this should be an exceptional match.  Since there squashing careers began, both players have met head-to-head in the sqaured room on 4 seperate ocassions.  With both sharing the spoils, two matches a piece.   After there last encounter Hope will be looking for a much improved performance, you could have been forgiven to think that it was Bob Hope who had turned up last time.  Verner will be looking to maintain his high standards, as he has shown throughout recent weeks in friendly matches with ‘the Clarkester’, but it can be difficult to take the practice form onto the main stage.

Verner makes his first defence of his no.1 spot, so the big lad will be feeling the pressure.  Its said that you are only a true champion when you sucessfully defend your title, so Verner will be out to show all that he’s in for the duration.

Tickets for Fri nights game are still available but selling fast, doors open 5.30pm.

NSL Reporter

Frankie Le Fondre

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